


I Don't Care if You're Contagious

by mydayismade



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Endgame Jaepil, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jaebri, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Park Jaehyung | Jae-centric, Pining, Quarantine, Slice of Life, Unrequited Crush, but not actually, but we shall see, jae being dumb, not really sure where this is gonna go, where's the damn boba, wonpil being dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:21:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23943013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydayismade/pseuds/mydayismade
Summary: Jae stood speechless at the man before him. His brain had shut down on him. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he stayed silent. Younghyun looked like he was waiting for a response or atleast a reaction from Jae, but after several minutes of waiting, he scoffed and walked away, leaving Jae to clean up the mess on the floor and in his heart.Jae fucked up. Badly.or:the quarantine fic no one asked for but im going to write anyway
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil & Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 23
Kudos: 66





	1. Where's the Damn Boba?

**Author's Note:**

> hellloo, I've never written a fanfic before but i have written just in general and i love it! im also fairly new to the day6 fandom (just a couple weeks shy of 6 months, woohoo) but wow i lub them! so enjoy this mess of a fic and dont forget to give me feedback by commenting and leaving kudos!! 
> 
> ps. this isnt beta read and was written at like 1 am during a bout of intense sadness and boredom, so my apologies for any mistakes!!
> 
> pps. oh and also, dont forget to stream The Book of Us: The Demon when it drops on May 11th! show jyp just how powerful our boys are!! anyway, bye bye for now, muah

Two months. It had been two months since the whole coronavirus pandemic and quarantine mess began. Two months of Jae being trapped in his house, well apartment, with his four other bandmates. Now don’t get him wrong, he  _ loves _ his band members to pieces and would do anything for them BUT two straight months of no interaction with anyone else would drive anyone mad. 

It’s not even like Jae particularly liked going out ,or hanging with people for that matter, but just the fact that he  _ couldn't _ anymore was a bit bothersome. How else would he be able to deflect his members questioning gazes and ignore all of his issues if he was stuck with said issue 24/7? 

Oh yeah, Jae had an issue. A big issue. An issue as big as the pandemic itself. Well maybe not that bad, but in his perspective it was that bad, possibly even worse. 

This problem’s name was none other than Kang Younghyun, or Brian as Jae would like to so affectionately call him to the dislike of said man. A 5’10, 150 something pound, black haired hunk of man was the root of all of the evils in Jae’s life at the moment.

Jae for the life of him could not get his sexy bassist’s feline eyes out of his mind no matter how much he tried. No amount of soju or pubg could erase the image of his well built band member’s annoyingly perfect face. His strong jaw, straight nose, expressive feline eyes that held the whole universe,silky black hair that looked almost like velvet, his whole  _ everything  _ was just perfect. Completely and utterly perfect.

And Jae hated that. He wasn’t jealous or anything of the sort, or at least he’d never admit to it, but he was in a crisis. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to  _ be  _ Brian or if he wanted to be  _ with  _ Brian. So yeah, it was a pretty big deal and spending two months in an enclosed space with the very person you’re trying so desperately to not think about makes things just all the more difficult.

Anyone could see his dilemma and why he wanted to get out of that god forsaken house so damn badly. That is why when Wonpil innocently walked into the living room where Jae was sitting on the couch, thinking about all of his life choices that led him to his current predicament, and asked if he wanted to get boba, Jae practically leaped up and screamed “Yes, oh god yes!”.

“Ahh, okay then...I’ll be ready to go in about 10 minutes, I have to ask everyone else for their orders. I just really needed an extra pair of hands to carry everything.” Wonpil guiltily replied.

If it were any other time, Jae would admittedly be a bit hurt, but given the current circumstances, all the tall man with unruly blonde hair felt was relief. Pure and unadulterated relief. He was so caught up in his thoughts about how much of an angel Wonpil was that he almost forgot to respond to the tiny keyboardist.

After a couple more seconds of awkward silence Jae finally gave his band mate an equally as awkward response as he stiffly sat back down on the couch. “Oh y-yeah, of course dude. Take your time! I’ll just be waiting here, on the couch, in the living room ahah…”.

The sheer uncomfortableness in Jae’s voice was enough to make Wonpil burst out into a small giggling fit. The short man was practically bent over in laughter.

“Oh Jae, you’re so pitiful.” Wonpil barked out, wiping faux tears from the corners of his slightly crossed eyes.

Jae couldn’t help but to pout at the small jab at him; you’d think after almost 10 years of knowing the pianist that he’d be used to his teasing remarks by now, but alas, he wasn’t. 

Once Wonpil gained his composure, for the most part, Jae awkwardly cleared his throat and asked a question he almost forgot to think about.

“Wait a minute, aren’t we in like, quarantine or something? Meaning we can’t leave the house unless absolutely necessary?”

“Jae, boba is  _ always  _ necessary, never forget that.” The younger man huffed with a slight glare. “But anyway, we’re allowed to go outside and stuff, just as long as we practice social distancing and wear our masks. Plus, this boba shop is doing contactless pick ups so we’re safe as can be. Don’t worry Jaehyungie hyung!”

“Does this mean I can finally go visit Richard and the gang?” Jae hopefully asked.

“No.” Wonpil deadpanned, suddenly unamused. “Did you not just listen to any of what I said hyung? We have to practice social distancing! The only reason I didn’t order delivery is because I could see how much it seemed like you needed the fresh air. Now hurry up and get ready, I don’t want to keep everyone else waiting.” Just as Wonpil finished his mini rant a faint ‘ding’ sound rang in the small common area.

“Oh, it’s Sungjin hyung. He’s wondering what’s taking so long and why I haven’t come to take any of their orders yet. Thanks a lot Jae! Now they’re all gonna hate me!” He cutely frowned, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Dude, why don’t they just text you the order?” The blonde questioned, slightly confused that the brunette hadn’t thought of that sooner.

“Hm, I didn’t think of that...thanks Jae.” 

Jae quietly muttered “and  _ I’m  _ the pitiful one” before he quickly made his way to the bathroom to get ready, not wanting to wait and see if the short man had heard him.


	2. Bunny Pil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get the damn boba

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again! hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the 1st one!  
> as always, dont forget to comment, share, and leave kudos! im always willing to know what you guys have to say and hear any suggestions you may have, so dont be afraid. anyway, on with the story! <3
> 
> ps. not beta read and once again written at an odd time of night but skksskps hopefully there aren't too many errors! i also think the formatting got a bit mixed up but once again, i hope it isnt too bad!

It had been fifteen minutes or so before Jae finally decided he looked presentable enough to be seen by anyone other than his roommates. He gave himself one last once over in the small mirror before he stepped out of the bathroom. As he walked down the hallway and towards the front door he couldn’t help but to feel an overwhelming amount of joy. This was going to be the first time in months that he’d left the dorm for something not work related, and boy did it feel amazing. While he was entranced in his own reverie, he bumped into a small object.

He looked down to see no other than Wonpil stood, well sat, in front of the main entrance of the apartment.

“Hyung! Watch where you’re going next time! You almost killed me and I don’t think you all could afford to find another keyboardist.” Wonpil annoyedly grumpled, unsuccessfully trying to get up from where he was splayed on the floor.

At that remark, the tall blonde blinked in his adorably quirky way before springing into action to help his distressed band member. As Jae was about to pull Wonpil up, he noticed a slight shift in the atmosphere. He was suddenly struck with a random thought: ‘has Wonpil always been this cute?’

Acknowledging Wonpil’s cuteness was definitely nothing new nor weird, especially as said man was basically the master of aegyo. But the type of cuteness Jae was starting to notice was different. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it just yet, but he knew that there was a difference. And that scared him.

“JAE! Are you gonna help me out or not? You’ve been staring at me with your hand outstretched for like 5 minutes!” The man who was invading Jae’s thoughts huffed, practically fuming with smoke, but in a cute way.

The sudden sound of Wonpil’s usually calm and quiet voice yelling Jae’s name also scared him. The blonde snapped back to reality and pulled Wonpil up with a slight blush on his cheeks. Today was just not his day it seemed.

“Uhm, guys, what are you doing? Sungjin thought you left already. You know, to go get boba, as you promised you would..” he glanced down at his imaginary watch before looking back up incredulously “almost 45 minutes ago.”

Well shit. If it wasn’t the one person Jae wanted so desperately to avoid. Just when Jae was thanking the heavens for the miracle that happened over an hour ago, things started to go downhill. Only then, with the presence of Younghyun in the seemingly smaller space, did Jae notice the compromising position he was in.

He was still holding Wonpil’s hand while the brunette had one hand on his arm to gain some balance.

“Oh, uh, well Wonpil fell, well I ran into him, but nevermind that, and I was just helping him up and-” Jae nervously spluttered out as his face turned bright red before he was unceremoniously cut off by the bassist.

“Uh huh, sure, just hurry up and get the damn boba. And while you’re at it, add some chicken and french fries to the order. It’s for emotional damages. Now move along.” Younghyun cooly replied before stalking back off to wherever the hell he came from.

“Ahem” The sound of Wonpil clearing his throat brought Jae back to the matter at hand and made him jump back, needing some distance between him and the small man.

“Sorry about that. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Jae sheepishly said to the younger man, not meeting his eye out of embarrassment.

“It’s okay hyung, let’s get going before they come at us with pitchforks and banners while chanting ‘where is the boba, we want the damn boba’” 

Jae just let out a small chuckle at his friends joke, feeling slightly better about the situation that just went down.

\-----

The two men finally made it to their destination: a boba shop aptly named “Boba Bunny” after a 10 minute walk from their dorm. The shop was cute in every sense of the word and Jae was oddly reminded of Wonpil. Right outside the glass doors were various statues and figurines of different sized bunnies. Jae had to do everything in his power to not coo at the sight. 

Once the duo walked inside, they were met with even more adorableness. The emptiness of the shop compared to the cutesy decor was a stark contrast, but it didn’t detract from the intense feeling of warmth it gave Jae. Pastel pinks and mint greens decorated the walls and paintings and pictures of bunnies covered practically every corner. Yeah, this was Wonpil if he was a boba shop. At that thought, Jae let out a quiet snicker, making Wonpil look over with a questioning yet suspicious look. The short brunette could feel the teasing he was going to get once they got back to the dorms.

“Hello! How may I help you two lovely fellows?” 

Jae and Wonpil stopped their wandering gazes and honed in on the sweet looking shop worker. Just like them, she wore a face mask, but she also donned a pair of gloves on her dainty hands and was decked out in an apron with a bunny stitched onto it. The icing on the almost overbearingly sweet cake was the hat with bunny ears attached that sat upon her petite head.

Wonpil spoke up as he walked closer to the counter, careful to remain the proper distance in order to ensure maximum safety, “Yes, hello, we’d like to order 2 hazelnut coffee lattes with tapioca, 1 oreo smoothie with double ice cream, 1 taro smoothie, 1 matcha smoothie with ice cream and tapioca, and 2 orders of popcorn chicken with french fries, medium spice please! Thank you!” 

The worker, named Kendall based off of her small name badge, simply nodded and typed away on her register as Wonpil ordered. After one last nod and small “mhm”, she looked up to the men and gave a bright smile that showed off her braces. Pastel pink. 

“That will be,” she typed a couple more things onto the till ”$46.95, how will you be paying? We prefer credit because of the whole situation, but cash is fine too!” she cheerfully spoke.

“Credit.” Jae and Wonpil said at the same time, both making motions to get their credit cards from their wallets. It was one of those cliche, rom-com moments when both parties reach out to the waiter with their credit cards to pay for their date at the same time, except this wasn’t a rom-com and they weren’t on a date. Their hands bumped into each other uncomfortably before Wonpil pulled his away. His arms were shorter and he couldn’t quite reach the 6 foot distance between him and the register. Jae had won this round. The longer limbed man smiled triumphantly before handing the young girl his MasterCard. Jae did owe Wonpil since he was the one that caused them to have to order more than intended due to his propensity for awkward social situations that take way longer than normal.

“Hm, okay! Your order will be ready in about 15 minutes! Feel free to take a seat while you wait! I would usually ask your names so I could call you to come get your stuff but…” Kendall glanced around, a slight frown overtaking her gentle features “as you can see, you’re our only customers!” Her frown left as quickly as it had arrived as she looked back up to the two older males.

Jae felt a slight pang in his chest. There were still people, teenagers at that, going to work during this whole mess, and yet there he was, complaining about his having to stay at home just because he couldn’t keep his stupid emotions in check. 

It was Wonpil’s gentle nudge of his shoulder that made Jae get out of his head and into the present. The pair walked to a table a little farther back in the cozy shop, just in case more people decided to show up. Upon sitting down, Jae took out his phone and started scrolling through twitter absentmindedly. That’s how he spent most of his time nowadays, it seemed.

“So hyung, how have you been?” Wonpil quietly spoke up, hoping to catch Jae’s attention.

Jae looked up from a tweet asking about Jaesix season 2 only to see a concerned frown on his friend’s face. “I’m fine Wonpil, why do you ask?” Jae replied with a slight frown of his own.

“I don’t know, it’s just that...you’ve been distant? The guys and I are worried about you, hyung” Wonpil pouted.

Jae had really hoped that he would be able to hide his spiraling emotions during the quarantine, but judging by what Wonpil was saying, it seemed that he failed. “Wait, what do you mean?” 

“Well, you just seem to constantly avoid us, especially Younghyun and he’s starting to think you hate him.” Wonpil dryly chuckled, not quite sure if he should regret starting this conversation.

Now Jae was _really_ feeling bad after hearing his younger friend’s worries. He hadn’t meant to ignore any of his bandmates, well except Younghyun, that was intentional, but he just didn’t want to bring the mood down with his constant brooding and what not. He didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. Funnily enough, in his efforts to not cause any problems, he created a problem. Great, just another one to add to his ever growing list.

Right as Jae was about to reply to Wonpil, the soft sound of a bell reverberated through the establishment.

“Ah, I-I’ll get it.” Jae blurted out, glad to be able to get some extra time to calculate how he will respond to the keyboardist. Wonpil simply rolled his eyes and gave Jae a small nod, the latter already halfway to the counter in record time.

After realizing he’d need help carrying all of the food they bought, Jae called Wonpil over to come help him. They quietly walked back to the table where they previously sat to check that their orders were correct. It wasn’t until Wonpil opened the bag of chicken and fries did Jae realize just how hungry he was.

“Everything seems just fine, I think we should head back now.” Wonpil said, checking the time on his phone. “I’m surprised Sungjin or Younghyun haven’t called asking us what’s taking so long, but I’d like to keep it that way, so let’s get going.” Jae felt relieved that Wonpil had seemingly moved on from their previous conversation, but he could still feel a bit of tension in the air.

As the two walked out of the absolutely adorable restaurant, they looked back and waved at the lone worker in the shop. Jae thought he would definitely be coming back whenever he could, if the drinks and food were good that is. 

The walk home was mostly silent save for the sound of the evening wind rustling their food bags. Being outside and enjoying the fresh air was a welcome change for both men, especially Jae. It felt nice. Jae suddenly felt a presence come closer to his own body. He looked down to see that Wonpil was faintly shivering and looking for more warmth. 

When Wonpil saw that he had been caught, he quickly moved further apart from Jae and looked down at the ground in embarrassment. The color of the dirt was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. He wondered if the color of his cheeks matched the color of a small flower he saw amidst the grass he was looking at. Jae let out an airy giggle at Wonpil’s absolutely precious behavior before pulling the smaller man closer to him with the hand that wasn’t holding food.

“J-jae, what are you doing?” Wonpil’s voice wavered as he was caught off guard by Jae’s actions.

Jae just held onto the boy as he continued walking towards home, merely stating “You were shivering Pillie.” 

  
  


\------

The sun had fully set by the time the tall blonde and short brunette arrived home. When they reached the front door, Jae felt himself almost dreading opening it. Although him and Wonpil didn’t say much to each other during their little excursion, it was still nice to spend some time with the cute man. He almost didn’t want it to end, but the rush of warm air that blew past his face as Wonpil opened the front door brought him back to reality.

“We’re home!” Wonpil gently yelled into the oddly quiet apartment.

It didn’t take long before the sound of footsteps and exhales of “finally”’s filled up the silence in the space. Sungjin was the first one to step up to Wonpil and take his drink out of the bag, giving both of the band members responsible for the long wait glares. Next in line was Dowoon. He simply took his drink, a couple of fries, and made his merry way back to his room, but not before smiling happily at his hyungs. Last but not least was Younghyun, who looked the most grumpled of them all.

“Fucking finally, I’m starving!” Younghyun boisterously stated, not caring about his language.

Wonpil looked in his bag of drinks to find the raven haired male’s but he came up empty handed. “Hm, it must be in Jae’s bag.” Wonpil breathed out, earning a quiet huff and quick nod from the hungry man.

Hearing his name be mentioned, Jae looked to see Younghyun coming towards him. He was slightly taken aback but then he remembered why the bassist was coming to him anyway. He awkwardly dug in the bag and pulled out Younghyun’s boba, a hazelnut latte with tapioca, just like Jae’s. His hand shook a bit as he tried handing the still cold beverage to his close friend. The dark haired male just gave Jae a curious glance before reaching forward to snatch the drink out of his hand, having decided that the awkward man was taking absolutely too long.

Being caught by surprise, Jae tripped forward, dropping the precious boba onto the wooden floor. Both men stared at the wasted drink on the ground for what felt like minutes before Younghyun looked up to Jae with a furious look in his eye. It was almost as if he was fed up.

“What the absolute fuck, man!? What the hell has gotten into you?” the now angry man viciously spat as he glared at the stiff guitarist. “You’ve spent these past 2 months just completely ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist and now you freaking drop my drink? Am I seriously _that_ bad to be around?” By the last sentence, Younghyun’s voice had dropped in volume and took on a defeated tone. He looked near tears. And all because Jae couldn’t control his dumb emotions or limbs.

Jae stood speechless at the man before him. His brain had shut down on him. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he stayed silent. Younghyun looked like he was waiting for a response or atleast a reaction from Jae, but after several minutes of waiting, he scoffed and walked away, leaving Jae to clean up the mess on the floor and in his heart. 

‘Maybe I am pitiful.’ Jae sadly thought to himself as his brain struggled to start functioning again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo, here is another update! it's kind of a long one ahah, and sorry if it seems a bit slow, im all about the build up and stuff!!! but if u feel like its moving too slow just let me know and ill be sure to keep it in mind for the next chapter. but i think the pace i have now is pretty decent given that it's a slice of life fic, but like i said, let me know ur thoughts in the comments below and dont forget to leave kudos too!


	3. If You Hold Me Without Hurting me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epiphanies are made, memories are relived, and hurt is inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooof, a bit of light angst in this one, i hope i did it justice! also oh, long time no see ahhaha. i dont rly have any excuse other than general unmotivatedness, but uhm the semester is over so im gonna try to commit to more frequent updates! no promises tho :(. well anyway, hope you enjoy this one eventhough it's a bit short but it gives you some important context and whatnot. anyway, hope ya like it! muah!

He heard everything. Wonpil had heard everything that was said in that small living room.

After retreating to his room with his food and drinks in hand, Wonpil was interrupted mid bite by a sudden commotion.

“What the absolute fuck man!?” was what wonpil could pick up from through the thin walls of his room. It sounded like Younghyun, but a lot angrier than usual. In pure curiosity and worry, the tiny man set down his oreo smoothie and padded towards his door, cracking it open just enough so he could fully hear whatever the fuck was going on.

“....2 months just completely ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist and now you freaking drop my drink?” Oh, so that must have been what Wonpil heard at first. After a brief moment of tense silence, he heard Younghyun speak up again, although this time with a lot less fight behind his words. The raven-haired man sounded tired, like he had given up on something. “Am I seriously that bad to be around?”

Hearing the bassist sound that hurt broke Wonpil’s compassionate heart. He knew how it felt to think your presence was a bother to someone, especially someone you cared deeply for. He knew all too well. The ironic part about the whole situation was that both Wonpil and Younghyun were left feeling the same way by the same culprit: Jae. Albeit for different reasons, the two shorter men experienced pain from Jae’s words and actions. While Younghyun was disheartened by the idea of who he thought was his best friend disliking him, Wonpil endured the ache of unrequited love.

So, Wonpil sympathized with the man, he really did. But he also sympathized with Jae. Sometime after his realization of his feelings towards the oldest, the pianist also realized one especially important thing about him.

He was bad with feelings. He was bad at acknowledging his emotions, let alone showing them to others. Jae was the type to love someone to the moon and back but never outwardly show it. Instead, he’d express his affection through small actions such as waiting for Dowoon when he’s in the bathroom and the tour bus is about to leave, or by giving Younghyun the last bite of his sandwich even though he’s quite hungry himself. On some rare occasions he would be more open about expressing his love, as evidenced by the times he’d initiate skinship with Wonpil or at the very least not run away when Wonpil initiated it.

With this background information in mind, Wonpil came to the conclusion that Jae was a tsundere. And that’s just how it was. When Wonpil discovered this fact some years ago, he decided that being loved by Jae as a bandmate, as a brother, was better than nothing at all. He’d rather be teased and made fun of platonically than possibly ignored and put on the back burner because of the older’s fears of intimacy.

It was easier than expected for him to forget his feelings for Jae. As the band grew in popularity, so did his responsibilities as an idol, leaving little to no room for him to think about a certain tall blond-haired person. He found it easier to get lost in the music as a whole instead of just Jae’s voice alone as time went on. Of course, being nothing but human, he had the occasional slip up. He’d let himself get entranced in the airy raspiness of the lead guitarist’s soothing voice, causing him to miss a beat during practice or sing a note too late in concert. It was at times like that where he felt his heart start to remember. Remember what it felt like to yearn, ache, and ultimately bleed. But then he’d see his adoring fans out in the ocean of the crowd, and he would get shot back to reality, to what was and not what he wished would have been.

It was easy to forget what was never meant to be thought of anyway. Wonpil wasn’t supposed to be hopelessly in love with his band member. It’s just something you don’t do. That sentiment paired with the determination to not let his emotions ruin his chance at success was what kept Wonpil sane. Kept him from yearning, aching, bleeding.

Thinking back to the situation that was currently unfolding in front of him, little dots started to connect in his head. The distancing himself. The ignoring the members. The late nights away from the dorm. The constant pensive look on the otherwise youthful looking man's soft face.

Jae was in love.

But not with him. And that hurt. It hurt more than when he spent nights crying himself to sleep, willing the thoughts of the lanky man with fluffy blonde hair to be washed away by his tears.

‘Maybe if I cry long enough, hard enough, these feelings will drown.’ Was something Wonpil often thought to himself on those cold nights.

Honestly, Wonpil was mad at himself for not noticing sooner. He prided himself on being the most attentive member, after all. However, he simply passed off Jae’s dismissive attitude and aloofness as stress, what with the quarantine and upcoming comeback preparations. He saw the lingering glances and heard the soft sighs but failed to see the message behind them.

But ever the empath, he ended up only feeling worse for Jae. Jae was in the same position he was not too many years ago. He could  _ feel _ Jae’s pain.

The sound of a door slamming shut was what cut through Wonpil’s moment of enlightenment and judging by the intensity and proximity of the sound, Wonpil could guess that it was Younghyun’s door. He jumped back and away from his own, hoping that he wasn’t spotted by Younghyun eavesdropping. After waiting a few minutes to be sure that the coast was clear and that he wasn’t caught, he tentatively made his way to the living room to check the damage.

He wasn’t expecting to see Jae stood where now dried boba was puddled on the wooden floor. Sungjin was definitely going to be furious. After the initial shock wore off, Wonpil carefully stepped closer to the unmoving figure. It was late into the night by that time, the only light in the room coming in dim, silvery rays from the moon through a small window.

Once Wonpil was standing right in front of Jae, he saw the distant and vacant look on his face. He also saw the shimmering of unshed tears in the corners of his usually bright eyes. Wonpil could sense that the older could-was about to, break at any moment. And once again,it hurt. It hurt to see his ex-love in so much pain. It hurt to know that he couldn’t do much about it. So, he did the only thing he could think of at the moment.

He reached out and pulled the surprisingly pliant man into his embrace. As if a spell was lifted, a trance was broken, the emotion returned to his features with such an intensity it left Wonpil on the brink of tears himself.

Jae stood still in the younger man’s arms as he let the waterworks out. It had been years since he last let himself cry, sob for that matter. It had been even longer since he’d done it in front of someone, but this situation broke him. His walls were broken, his defenses marred by heart ache and something else he didn’t have the energy to identify.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, scared that the sound of his voice would cut through the silence uncomfortably, Wonpil didn’t utter a word. Instead, he poured everything he wanted to,  _ needed _ to say into the encirclement of his arms around his elder. All the ‘I love you’s’ he never got to say, all the kisses he never got to give, all the love he never got to feel, he harnessed it and posited it into that one moment.

Wonpil came to what felt like his tenth realization of the night.

He still loved Jae.

His heart fully remembered the yearning, the aching, the bleeding.

Forgetting did not equal overcoming. Memories can resurface and be even stronger than when they first happened, and Wonpil learned that the hard way.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t apologize.” It wasn’t okay. It was far from okay.

Neither made a move to stop their embrace for a while but eventually Jae pulled away first, eyes puffy and red and cheeks blotchy with wetness.

He was a mess. But Wonpil didn’t mind. He mustered up the brightest smile he could and looked up at Jae. “Goodnight, sleep well.” He tried to say, hoping the wavering in his voice would go unnoticed.

“Sleep with me.” Jae suddenly blurted, but after thinking about the insinuation of what he said, the redness in his eyes spread to his cheeks and ears. “I m-mean sleep, in t-the same room with me, if you don’t mind of course. I just- I just don’t know if I can be alone right now.” He sputtered, looking anywhere but Wonpil’s adorably crossed eyes.

Wonpil let out a lighthearted chuckle despite himself and the tension in his chest. He grabbed the emotionally drained boy’s pale and lithe wrist and wordlessly pulled him to his room. He had the biggest bed after all.

And so as they laid in Wonpil’s dark room wrapped in the warmness of each other's hold and the serenity of their slowly synchronized breaths, it became evident that maybe they were both too pitiful for their own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooooooooo, how was that? dont forget to tell me ur thoughts in the comments and to leave kudos and what not. im always open to critiques or just conversing with anyone ahha. 
> 
> oh also, dont forget to listen to The Book of Us: The Demon, our boys need all the love and support in the world, especially during this rough time :(
> 
> but uhm yeah, thats about it! i rlly hope this wasnt that bad buafhoafh i have a habit of writing at absurd times in the night and not beta reading/editing hehe. muah! <3


	4. How Did I Get Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae is dumbo. That's it, that's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii hii!!!!!!!!!! long time no seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, kkfnfi sorry bout that!!! hopefully the longness of this chapter can make up for my extended absence!!! this one is quite,,, hmm, juicy?? like a lot of things are revealed, it may seem a bit rushed cause i dont wanna drag this on, cause believe me, this fic would literally never end if i had my way, but hopefully it isnt too bad!!! pls pls, enjoy! and dont forget to leave comments, kudos, and even like share with ur friends! it is all greatly appreciated! until next time, whenever that may be! <3

When dawn arrived the next morning, Jae felt weirdly warm. He was quickly awoken due to a slight uncomfortableness and opened his eyes to see a small body lying partially on his chest, small snores escaping the culprit’s wide mouth. Suddenly, the memories from the night prior came flooding back to him. The exasperation of being stuck in the dorm, Wonpil coming to his rescue with a trip to the boba shop, and of course, fucking things up with Younghyun. He then recalled Wonpil coming to his rescue, again. 

His reminiscing was cut short by the sudden sound of rustling sheets and the movement of the man laid on top of him. Jae looked down and caught Wonpil mid yawn, to which he chuckled lightly. Wonpil really was adorable, even with bedhead and morning breath. Wonpil spared his giggling cuddle buddy a short glare before he returned to his stretching and yawning.

“Mornin’.” Jae spoke, voice a bit husky from the previous night’s crying and sleep. Wonpil was honestly a bit confused by Jae’s current behavior. There was no trace of awkwardness from their intimate position that neither attempted to get out of. While Wonpil shifted so that he wasn’t splayed out on top of the blonde, Jae still kept his arm wrapped around Wonpil’s back, essentially hugging him. That thought paired with Jae’s morning voice made Wonpil a bit flustered. It wasn’t often that he was able to be this close and personal with the older. 

In response to Jae’s greeting, Wonpil mumbled a quiet “Good morning.” and moved to get up from bed, not wanting to address the rapid beating of his heart that the situation caused him. 

“Ahh, you’re leaving me so soon, Pillie? Is my breath that bad?” Jae teasingly said, not making any move to release Wonpil from his embrace. 

Luckily for the both of them, they had nothing much to do today. There was only to be a short band practice, but that would be later in the evening. They were basically free for the whole day. That fact didn’t stop Wonpil from stuttering out an “I gotta go get ready for practice!” though. The poor man just wanted to give his fragile heart a rest before it leapt out of his ribcage. Being this close to the older was doing things to him.

There was a beat of silence before Jae let out an uproarious chuckle that caused him to release his hold on Wonpil in favor of clutching his stomach. Wonpil took Jae’s moment of weakness as his chance to finally escape the heart attack inducing position he was in.

Jae looked up for a brief moment,“H-hey, where are you going?” he barely managed to say through his laughter. Wonpil responded by walking to his bathroom, thanking the heavens that he had his own en-suite.

Once the door shut behind him, he took a look in the small mirror. He used this time to reflect on the events of the past couple of hours but was left with more questions than answers. Since when did Jae have feelings for Younghyun? Since when did Jae have feelings for  _ men _ ? 

Out of all of them, though, there was one question that Wonpil felt ashamed to think about, but he couldn’t help himself but to wonder. ‘What does he have that I don’t?’ There was no escaping the reality that he was jealous, very much so, in fact. He didn't want to be, but he was. How could he not be, though? Younghyun had the one thing Wonpil was secretly yearning for: Jae’s love. 

While Wonpil’s suspicions of Jae’s predicament weren’t confirmed just yet, he was still pretty sure that he was right in his assumptions. Knowing everything he knew about his bandmate, it only made sense. However, he felt too afraid to breach this topic. He didn’t know when to bring it up and he didn’t know how. 

With one exasperated sigh and final glance in the mirror, he decided that it would just be better to rip the proverbial band aid off, so he made his way back into his bedroom to face the very person that caused his wound.

“Hey Jae-” Wonpil cut himself off when he looked up to see his room empty. All traces of Jae ever being there were gone, save for the rumpled sheets on the side of the bed he slept on. 

\--------

Jae felt bad. Jae felt  _ really  _ bad. He felt horrible, pathetic, and selfish. He just felt like the biggest piece of shit to have ever been shat.

He didn’t really want to leave Wonpil, especially not in the manner that he did, but he also didn’t want to have to deal with answering the questions that would arise if he were to stay. In Jae’s defense, though, he needed time to process all of the events himself before he tried to explain anything to anyone else. Nothing really made sense to him, and the grogginess of the morning made things all the more confusing. Once Jae was in the comfort of his own bed without the prying eyes of anyone else, he started to lay down the facts of the situation.

He knew that he’d been “pining” after Younghyun for some time now. That much was obvious. Jae also now knew that he’d been acting like a total asshole towards Younghyun for the past couple of months, as evidenced by Younghyun’s mini spiel last night. But what he didn’t know was why he felt the way he currently did. 

Jae thought that Younghyun’s outburst would break his heart, and in a way, it did, but in another way he felt... _ relieved _ . 

See, throughout the time Jae spent longing for Younghyun, he never actually had much quality time with the younger male. In fact, he occupied most of his days watching “Jaehyungparkian” videos on youtube. That was how he came to the conclusion that he had feelings for Younghyun in the first place. It started innocently enough, Jae simply wanted to see how his fans viewed his friendship with his bandmate. At first, Jae didn’t pay it much mind. He brushed most of it off as fans exaggerating. His actions were simply that of a close friend, right? But then he spiraled into a rabbit hole as he started to become more unsure of himself and his emotions. He started to question basically everything he did.

_ Did I always look at him like that? Wait, do I really hold his hands that much? Why am I smiling so hard in that pic? Is it because of Younghyun?  _

And the list went on and on. It eventually got to a point where Jae thought thrice before interacting with the bassist for fear of coming off too obvious, too eager. He stopped reaching out to hold the younger’s hand and he stopped making direct eye contact at all costs. 

But last night made Jae realize some things. He realized that he was constantly thinking about why he  _ should _ like Younghyun and never about why he  _ did  _ like Younghyun. Moreover, he found himself thinking from the perspective of a fan, an outsider, instead of as someone who knew him for almost a decade. The fan made videos on youtube only ever highlighted the best possible aspects of Younghyun but never touched on his flaws. They never showed his short temper, overly sardonic humor, stubbornness, or sometimes sickeningly clingy nature. None of that made Younghyun a bad guy, of course, but they were all traits that Jae wasn’t particularly fond of in a romantic partner, but he deluded himself into thinking that it didn’t matter or bother him. It wasn’t until Jae was reminded of Younghyun’s overbearing personality did he finally make one of the greatest discoveries of his life.

He wasn’t in love with Younghyun, he was in love with the idea of Younghyun. Jae was projecting the fantasies and wants of the fans onto himself and his relationship with the bassist. All of the hand holding, soft smiles, staring, and other shows of affection were just how he showed he cared for the younger. He knew how much physical shows of affection mattered to the black haired male so that’s why he tried his best to deliver, even if he wasn’t always too keen on it.

So that’s how he ended up in yet another predicament. 

Wonpil. Wonpil was everything Younghyun was not. He had the patience of a saint and the docility of a baby bunny. While Wonpil had his fair share of clinginess, unlike Younghyun, he knew when to back off and let people be. The weird thing about him, though, was that he made Jae, resident tsundere, want to be more open with his affection. Where Jae would initiate skinship with Younghyun out of a feeling of obligation, skinship with Wonpil came a bit easier and more naturally to him. It was fun to tease and fluster the tiny man, especially since he knew that Wonpil would never drag things further in fear of making him uncomfortable or ruining the “moment”. It felt nice to not feel forced to do something but to do it just cause. Jae appreciated that aspect of his and Wonpil’s relationship, and now that he’d seen the light regarding his true feelings for Younghyun, he was now questioning if there was something else he needed to discover.

“Jaehyungie hyung!” Wonpil’s bright voice suddenly cut through Jae’s existential crisis.

“I’m in my room!” Jae called back, somewhat glad for the distraction from his never ending thoughts Wonpil was sure to provide. What he wasn’t glad for was the inevitable barrage of questions that would be thrown his way, but at least he had some time to collect his thoughts and wipe away the fogginess of the morning from his usually addled brain. Hopefully he wouldn’t make an even bigger fool of himself.

Not too long after Jae replied to Wonpil, he could hear the soft pitter patter of socked feet on the wood floor outside of his door, alerting him of Wonpil’s presence. 

There was a quiet knock before Wonpil shyly emerged from behind the large piece of wood. Before Wonpil could completely enter his room, Jae ushered out a quick apology.

“Sorry about earlier Pil,” Jae sheepishly scratched the back of his neck before continuing on “I didn’t mean to run out on you like that.”

“Oh, it’s fine! No hard feelings. I just came to check up on you. See how you were doing.” Wonpil gave Jae a faint smile before making his way towards the bed, making a gesture with his hand as if to ask if he could sit down. Jae gave a simple nod of his head as a yes.

“Thank you, it means a lot. I’m feeling a lot better, if that’s any consolation.”

“Well, that’s good…” the pianist trailed off and stared at the comforter on the bed, seemingly lost in thought. “Hyung? I have a question.”

There it goes. The door that Jae didn’t want to open but knew he had to eventually. Jae braced himself for whatever Wonpil was about to throw his way.

“Hm, sure, what is it?” Jae tried to air on the side of nonchalance, hoping it would make his nervousness less apparent.

A small exhale could be heard before Wonpil’s delicate voice let out a barely audible whisper. “How long?”

“How long what?” Jae was a bit puzzled about what was being asked of him, thinking about what Wonpil meant caused a small frown to grace his face.

Wonpil’s gaze lifted from the bed and his eyes met Jae’s, his voice gained a couple more decibels this time around. “How long have you liked him for, hyung?”

Jae noticed something in Wonpil’s tone, it was almost accusatory.

“Ah, uhm, about that…”

“You don’t have to lie to me hyung.”

In all honesty, Jae really didn’t know how to answer that question. He could just be completely honest and tell Wonpil everything from beginning to end, including his revelation from not too long ago, or he could give a watered down version. Both options seemed mentally and emotionally draining, so he opted for an impromptu third answer.

“I-I don’t. Or at least I don’t think I do. I don’t know, I’m still iffy on the details.”

“But why-” 

Jae quickly cut Wonpil off with an awkward chuckle and breathed out an “It’s a long story Pillie.”

“We don’t have practice for another three or so hours, I have time.”

“Well buckle your seatbelt, cause you’re in for a ride.” Jae’s attempt at lightening the tense mood seemed to work as Wonpil let out a tiny giggle. Man would Jae kill to never stop hearing that sound.

“Okay hyung, consider me strapped in.”

\-------

Jae spent the next two hours detailing exactly how everything went down, from the stumbling across Jaehyungparkian videos to the “realization” of feelings all the way up until just a couple hours ago, when he had another realization. He left out a few minor details here and there like his thoughts and feelings about the small man himself, but he basically gave Wonpil the whole story. From beginning to end.

“So let me get this straight: you made yourself believe you were in love with Younghyun hyung because of some poorly made fan edits on youtube and instagram?” Wonpil amusedly asked.

Jae was a bit ashamed but looking back at it, it did sound really dumb and absurd.

“I guess basically...but when you put it that way you make me sound stupid.” Jae pouted.

“No comment on that last bit.”

Jae could tell that Wonpil’s mood improved drastically after listening to his tale, and his own heart felt a bit lighter, too. 

There was still about forty five minutes left until band practice, and the pair used up all of that time to get rid of any remaining awkwardness between them. This quality time together was so refreshing, both men showed up to the practice room with an extra pep in their step and a spritely grin on their faces.

Jae was so caught up in the good “vibes” Wonpil gave him that he almost forgot about the whole mess with Younghyun. Key word  _ almost _ . 

Jae was met with Younghyun’s sharp, feline eyes giving him a cold stare when he entered the practice room, and he felt his freshly renewed energy instantly deplete.

‘I really am the most pitiful person in the world aren’t I.’ Was the last thing Jae could think to himself before he picked up his guitar and took position next to the man throwing daggers at him with his gaze.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooooo, thoughts? questions, comments, concerns?? how we feelin so far?? i hope this wasnt complete and total ass but ajfkjg i honestly dont even keep my hopes up @ this point, anyway, leave comments, kudos, and share this if you enjoyed it! im always down to hear what u guise have to say and what not! we could even become friends if ya want! welp, that is all~~~ hope u enjoyed whatever this was adjhfkhkfhl; muah <3

**Author's Note:**

> soooo, how was that so far? are you intrigued? have i piqued your interests? let me know in the comment section and let's see where this journey takes us.


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